Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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