Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
