My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
