I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
