That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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