True but thats because hes a fetus.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
