There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
no you cant smoke seaweed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
