you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
