love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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