I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
