Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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