pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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