Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize