I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
