I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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