so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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