I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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