You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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