Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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