At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
