Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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