I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize