so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
