the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
