Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
