I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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