I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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