Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
