This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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