I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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