my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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