I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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