don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
