He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
