If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
