I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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