is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
