this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
