I need to stop coming to work sober
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize