Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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