so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
