Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
