there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
