Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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