I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
