Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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