Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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