you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I lost the right to judge tonight
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
