I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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