This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Randomize
