is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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