If i come over, it means nothing
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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