I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
