are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
