I saw his package. It spoke to me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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