So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dear god my vagina.
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