I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
