I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
